OFFSIDE

Mein freund and I played along well for a while but eventually we became disgruntled with each other. He said that I didn't follow the rules, in particular, the off-side rule. He went to great pains to explain to me what I was doing wrong. For my part I couldn't understand the rule and, even if I did, it should not apply to us as there were only the two of us playing. Our debates went on and on until Anselme would eventually wrestle me to the ground and pummel me senseless. Oh friendship. You can't beat it.