THE HIGHEST SINGLE DIGIT IN THE DECIMAL SYSTEM

Richard (of RBB) raised an interesting question in a recent post. He asked "Why can't I see my willy?"
Oh, hold on, no that's not it He resigned himself to that problem a long time ago. Just a moment ... dum de dum de dum... here it is.. he asked "Why are there Seven Deadly Sins?" or something stupid like that. Well, I'm not the bloody pope nor am I the editor of The Tablet but I'll give the answer a go. It is because. Enough said OK. You gotta have faith as that sodomite George Michael said (why has he got two Christian names? He gives us a bad reputation). But, I digress. As I was browsing through the book section in the Petone St Vincent de Paul's shop and as the best pages were torn out, or gummed together in the books I was 'researching' - Mandingo, Lady Chatterly's Lover, Lolita, The Little Boy's Guide to the Catechism -  I began to think a little more of Richard's question. Pedalling back home I came up with some sins and commandments more relevant to our daily lives:

1.  Thou shalt not flush the toilet or wash the dishes whilst someone else is in the shower (unless you don't like them).
2.  Thou shalt not eat someone else's lunch that they have left in he communal fridge at work (sneak a bite or one of the sandwiches if they are unlikely to notice)
3. Thou shalt replace the toilet role if you used up the last of the toilet paper
4.  Thou shalt indicate correctly when turning left or right or, at a roundabout if going straight ahead.
5. Thou shalt, at a fast food counter or indeed at any counter including hotel check-ins or check-outs, anticipate in advance what goods or services you require and promptly and courteously conduct the transaction.
6. Thou shalt if returning to your car parked on the street or in a car-park, enter and move away as quickly as possible. Do not sit there adding up the till receipt, applying make-up or otherwise being a nuisance if there is someone else wanting the space.
7. Thou shalt when driving on the open road keep to the left and, if you are a slow driver do not speed up at passing lanes.
8. Thou shalt not answer your cellphone during a film at the picture theatre nor conduct loud conversations nor consume any noisy or smelly foodstuffs.
9. Thou shalt not make disparaging, rude or blasphemous comments on my other blog if I decide to start it up again.

I will call these nine pieces of advice the Nine Nice Neologisms.

Go in peace and please let me know what happened on page 127 to 135 of Lady Chatterly's Lover.

BENNY SAYS "COOL IT JA?"

VATICAN CITY NEWS RELEASE

Pope Benedict XVI appealed today for a suspension of fighting in Libya and the immediate start of a serious dialogue aimed at restoring peace to the North African country.
Speaking at his weekly blessing March 27, the pope said he was increasingly concerned at the news from Libya, where rebels supported by U.S. and European airstrikes have battled the forces of Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi.
The pope offered a prayer for "the return of harmony in Libya" and throughout North Africa.
He also expressed concern about the entire region of the Middle East, where episodes of violence and civil unrest were taking place daily. In Syria, more than 50 people were reported killed in anti-government demonstrations in late March.
He said "How in zer hell can ve mount a new Crusade against zese infidels if zey are all primed up and armed for zer confrontations Ja? Ve prefer zat zey are having zere pants down. My Crusade is not planned until 2012 zo it is best if everone settles down OK"

IF A TREE FELL IN THE WOODS AND NO ONE WAS AROUND TO HEAR IT FALL WOULD IT MAKE A SOUND?

Well, here's proof that it would although my wife passing by the door thought that I was passing.... wind.


Tree Falling In Woods Sounds | Effects | Sound Bites | Sound Clips from SoundBible.com

In my other Blog I wrote three glorious posts (careful Second, Pride is a sin - Editor) and then deleted them. No-one commented (I won't allow that) and I don't know if anyone read them (vanity is also a sin so I have deleted my blog counter also). They existed though just like God does even if you cannot see or hear him. Sanctus Sanctus Sanctus, Dominus Deus Saboath.

NO COMMENT

I don't allow comments on my other blog  http://bloodyoldsillybugger.blogspot.com/  Its not because I think that the comments are in any way inferior but they challenge my natural order of things. Some of the individuals leaving comments are morally suspect. I am worried that loyal readers of my blog will follow the links back to their blogs and be exposed to:

• salacious, prurient, deviant and even pornographic images. One of them actually puts on images of semi-naked women.
• blasphemous ideology and irreligious images. One has actually suggested that dedicated brothers in the faith made lewd advances to him when he was a schoolboy.
• Provocative and dangerous opinions in regard to the proper place of women in society. One has, with the support of others leaving comments, advocated the use of alcohol to seduce a man and the general indulgence in pre-marital relations.

If you must leave comments feel free to leave your filth here so others can witness your depravity. My other blog however will remain pure and unsullied and will carry God's message to true believers.

My wife and I have been wall papering the front room all day. It's starting to look like a comfortable place to be, with funky pink curtains, leopard skin lampshades and lots of lime-green. Richard will feel at home when he vissits. I'll finish wallpapering around the front window tomorrow and then start on tiling the fire place.